Ali Siddiq ‐ The Trip: Downing a Bag of Mushrooms - This Is Not Happening

Hey bella billy the mushrooms i'm about to be a white man billy the mushrooms later alma come on watch it will come out billy bill I got the mic jack this

is not happening i'm your host roy wood jr. Tonight's episode is all about he brought his brother for this property sexual album damaged goods he's my

friend from texas give it up for ali siddiq okay this rap so I was taping this exact show last season and ari comes into the green room and he's

giving out bags of mushrooms and i'm thinking okay all right knows i'm a vegetarian so i'm like okay mushrooms perfect love mushrooms but i'm being

very naive because i'm thinking california has everything vegetarians like oh mushroom chips never had them before so I just see the bag mushrooms I

just gobble not going much much go ari comes back he's like yo holly with your mushrooms like I ate him they were they were they need some salt but they was

you know all right and he was like no no it's not gonna be all right i'm like and i'm very like really naive to this i'm like yo menace mushrooms how bad could

it be it's like just mushrooms like I didn't have mushrooms before he's like not like this i'm like you crazy I eat mushrooms all the time in meatloaf and

pizzas it's mushroom dude what are you talking about you and art is looking at me like yo dude listen and this is what I knew it was bad this one I knew that

was different because i'm a grown man and if you grab my hand i'm probably gonna beat you up but all right grab my v like listen to me it was very intense

this is like a lot of icons acting like i'm like what he's like do not use your phone cuz something's going to happen to you later and be in a safe place I was

like damn hands off me why you gotta be in a safe place that you eat mushrooms dude get out of here so being very juvenile so i'll leave the show with

this comic named billy some rails he's like yo you wanna get something to eat i'm like no I just ate some mushroom chips i'm good but I go with you so we

leave and he goes to get some chicken and i'm he's a he wants i'm like no i'm just sitting the car and just sitting I wait on you to come back and as i'm

sitting there the mushrooms are back and I didn't really know what was happening and like I was sitting in his car in the city took a picture of me I was sitting

there minding my own business I don't think that's supposed to happen but it's gonna be two times in this story that i'm being very very arrogant and this is

the first time this is the first time being very cuz i'm thinking well I did just finish taping a tv show maybe the paparazzi is after me so another flash I

look out the window there's no people so there's no people there's no paparazzi so i'm like not as crazy it's too much flashing going on and then the car shook

and I guess when you on mushrooms your mind never does anything like low to the ground if everything is explained so i'm thinking okay the car shook I said oh

i'm a california it's earthquake so I jump out the car so i'm out the car and usually I don't I know I don't stand up straight most of the time because this

is me standing up straight I don't know why this feels uncomfortable to me standing straight up so I usually slouch a little bit and that's probably what

happened but this is what my mind was at so i'm standing at and i'm like maybe like this and i'm like i'm getting smaller so mushroom mind says you ain't

quicksand so I jump back in the car I don't want to go down in the quick stay with my regular body i'll rather go down in a car okay so I call billy I say hey

billy listen to me man the paparazzi is after them there's a earthquake happening and apparently you parked your car by quick sale billy says stay where

you are i'm coming i'm saying i'm in quicksand not going anywhere so let me tell you if you have a friend that's on mushrooms let me tell you how not to

approach on vehicle billy's coming to the car like this bad move billy because he's looking in the window and I keep turning away like it's somebody trying

to kidnap billy I say billy hurry up someone's trying to take me you say it is me I said who is me we coulda left long time ago he prolonged is about 15

minutes 15 minutes I let billy in his car he's like yo look i'm gonna get you back to your hotel when you get to the hotel don't talk to nobody just go to

your room so i'm staying at the loews so he pulls into the lowe's I get out and walk straight into the lowe's straight into the elevator i'm an elevator for 20

minutes it's a painting in the elevator and i'm just so interested in it so if something like this is right so i'm in an elevator and the door opens because I

don't realize that i'm in an elevator so the door opens I turn around and see this lady I say hey ma'am what are you doing in my room she said this is the

elevator what floor you going to I say i'm on six she was on four I was on six she gets off the elevator she said are you gonna be okay I say ma'am i'm going

at six I get to the sixth floor i'm gonna elevate it for another eight minutes because I don't know if you know at the loews the the arm the carpet is

real colorful and it's stitched in a wavy pattern and when you are mushrooms you don't need no more colors and you don't need nothing waiting so I got the

door open i'm doing this for eight minutes that's wet that's wet I know that's so now I got mad cuz i'm like what's happening put a damn fucking poo

oh I get back on the elevator go back to the front desk say hey what type of establishment was a fucking poo on the sixth floor the lady said are you high I

said no it got right i've decided that i'm gonna swim to my room fuck so i'm on the sixth floor doing one of the most amazing freestyles you ever want to see

so right before my flip turn I end up at my room so I get into my room and I know the mushrooms are affecting me because it's how I closed the door I closed the

door like this in my mind if the mushrooms on the other side of the door they cannot get in to keep bothering me so i'm in my room and i'm thinking okay

this this mushroom thing got to be over gotta be over soon god feel oh no it's just starting so i'm in my room and i'm trying to be cool okay all right all

right it's a lot going on in my head so i'm watching tv and it's this is this beautiful lawn on tv just catches my eye i'm like oh look at the grass and then

this evil lawnmower comes and mows all the crashdown oh i'm going through a lot i'm going through a lot i'm like yo man I got it and it's crazy you know what

i'm talking to myself i'm like yo listen listen calm down this is where you know that you hi are you trying to get yourself together like this fuck get it

together I kept telling myself get together like no so we need to get it together yeah I say you know something this is what this would always works

imma go i'm gonna wash my face wash my face for me to wash my face cuz washing your face always get you together but that's that's a mushroom mistake that's

mushroom mistake cuz I went into the bathroom and cut the light on and that mirror fucking attack me so i'm looking in the mirror and it's too much man cuz

my face one side of my face is like it was slumped out like I had bail palsy and the other side was nowhere I kept doing this so I say you know something I

gotta calm I gotta calm down i'm gonna wash my face listen to me let me go back in the store I left the recording and they put makeup on your face to make it

look smooth and whatnot didn't wash my face before I left but I don't remember that come on what's wrong so I wash my face and look down at that town and saw

all that brown in that town I call pill I take back the mushroom i'm about to be a white man better the mushrooms take it off mcculloch watching mccloud billy

bill I got the michael jackson i'm in the mirror for 30 minutes doing this i'm going through a lot man and I knew I was gonna do too much cuz I got scared got

scared when you get scared you gotta call on persons you think care about you I called my mama my mama call mom this was this is the second time that I was

being arrogant I called my mom saying hey listen to me do not judge me I am in california in a hotel room and i'm on mushrooms and she saying why I was wrong

I sound scared mama listen took a lot of famous people and died at hotel room get out okay mama pimps ii died in the hotel room I said mama whitney houston died in

a hotel room in california my mama said well you ain't got nothing to worry about cause you ain't famous I said whatever lady and this is when you start

to learn things about your parents my mama said the comments voice said I told her I say hey I need to calm down she said well you need to drink some milk

and I hung up on my mom I i said you don't know and I hung up then I call our person who gave me two mushrooms I said all right i'm in a hotel room and i'm

losing it I said I need to calm down and with the commas voice our I said you need to drink some milk so i'll call my mama back as someone she answers the

phone I said hey junkie that's it that was my story on mushrooms

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