Weird People At Garage Sales. Josh Sneed

The only thing i've learned from watching the learning channel there's crazy people everywhere and that's accurate I don't care what part of town you live in there are crazy

people close by you and if you ever want to meet them just see what they're like it's super easy have a garage sale put it on craigslist and in the paper that you're having a

garage sale and a freak show will form on your lawn two hours before the garage sale is even scheduled to begin i'm looking through the blinds I was like we said ten right well they're

here looks like the walking dead out their brains no that's his bargains I don't know if you've had a garage sale and you know what i'm talking about but it makes me hate people i'm not

gonna lie to you really bothers me I don't know why I do it all every year but cuz there's people I just talked about they're a real thing there's a term for them in the garage sale

community they're called early birds and apparently i'm a jerk because I didn't put in the ad they weren't supposed to be there ladies just standing out there I was like can I

help you ma'am she's like well i'm here for the garage sale i'm like well you're about two hours early well it didn't say no early birds this is how bad it got this is not a joke last

time we had a garage sale press the button to open the door there's a woman crouched down who raised up with the garage door like she's at a 90's boy band video just kind of step in

and I was like get out of here no this is not black friday there is nothing in here worth the effort you are exerting right now I get so mad same characters just different faces i'll

tell you who the worst one is guy who just watched three episodes of american pickers and now thinks he's indiana jones this guy every time just walks right up hey man you got any

antiques no sir i'm 35 I don't know why you thought this was the place to begin a treasure hunt but here's the problem no matter how annoyed you get you got to be nice to them you can't

say whatever you want that's hard for me to do do you understand i'm like no sir there's no antiques but there are some great deals this toaster check this out we got married last year we

don't need two toasters so we're selling this one and it's a dollar and they'll talk you down doesn't matter how good your pricing is they've seen an episode of pawn stars it's

negotiating time now he's sweating over my toaster for half an hour oh buddy I don't know I mean I need a toaster and that's a what's that it's a sunbeam I miss all right you know it

ain't like a kitchenaid or a hamilton beach you know someone might get excited trying to find one of the most or toasters everybody's around here selling them it's a stainless steel

double wide chamber that thing will burn a frozen bag on 12 seconds that thing's bad this what am I gonna do with this make toast for makin anything it moves springs are still

good would you say a dollar no i'd like to do business with you but I mean we're just so far apart right now I mean I could probably what's today wednesday gonna be tough I mean I

could I could probably go 25 cents 25 cents i'll beat it over your face for free how about that buddy cuz let me tell you something watching you leave with the broken nose will be worth way

more than a dollar at this point it's a dollar sir it's a toaster that still works for a dot no screw this guy honey I got I got thrown out of my own garage she made me leave I couldn't

just go I was like alright i'm leaving but I want everybody know something I will not be disrespected in my own garage and because of how all your acting i'm taking the toaster and the

beanie baby with the mystery stain and the playstation 1 without any games controllers or a power cord and a lid that does have to be taped closed when you want to use it that's right

they're all coming back inside when I carried them back into the house along with my pride and the next day the very next day as I drove that stuff to goodwill where I would lose money and

the guests that it took to get it there I got on the phone with my manager I said booked me for a special on video because I got some stuff I need to get off my chest so thank you

guys for listening hey thank you for watching this clip if you'd like to see more clips from this special you can click right here and if you'd like to watch the whole special for just 99

cents click right here and if you'd like to subscribe to the world's largest library of stand-up comedy click right here please click they have my family

Disclaimer: None of the content above is actually owned by our website, it's just a transcript of the video provided above served for your convenience.

Search Category:
Related Articles