Ah, the holidays. A time to snuggle up in front of the television to watch a heart-warming marathon of greed, sadism, and death. Wait, what? Yes, that's right: beneath some of your favorite christmas stories beats a heart of pure evil.
Here's a look at some creepy things you never noticed in classic christmas movies. The muppet christmas carol one of the best and most entertaining adaptations of the classic charles dickens story, the muppet christmas carol is fun for the whole family.
Well, with one exception: the ghost of christmas past, which is right out of a japanese horror movie. When scrooge pulls back the curtains on his lavish four-poster bed, he's met by a semi-transparent child with a creepy high-pitched voice.
It's kind of surprising scrooge didn't just spare himself the rest of the night and take himself out like gonzo did. " oh! Good god! Medic! Nurse!" rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer there are so many things wrong with this one it's hard to know where to start.
But for those playing along at home, here's the checklist of sadness and horror: donner verbally abuses his own son and forces him to disguise his " birth defect" to conform to the norm.
" you'll like it and wear it!" " aww, but daddy!" . The head elf publicly taunts hermey for wanting to be a dentist, then makes him work overtime.
Hermey responds by violently pulling out all the bumble's teeth in a scene guaranteed to give you nightmares. And after the bumble and yukon cornelius seemingly fall to their deaths, they reappear with the bumble having been somehow transformed into some kind of servile zombie slave.
Oh, and santa is a total pr--- too. " donner! You should be ashamed yourself. What a pity, he had a nice takeoff too." you're the one that should be ashamed, you jerk! Frosty the snowman this wonderful tale starts when a seemingly drunk, terrible magician, professor hinkle, fails so spectacularly at a magic show that the kids steal his hat in retribution.
Sure, he said he was going to throw the hat away, but he never got the chance, because his backstabbing, red-eyed rabbit took off, leaving hinkle to get trampled by the children as they ran outside.
As he runs after them to fetch his rabbit and hat, that's when he sees frosty come to life, and hinkle realizes the potential of his — key word his — magical hat. The crime is so obvious that the narrator steps in to try to convince the audience otherwise.
" the hat didn't belong to frosty and the children. That point must be made very clear." but that's hardly going to hold up in a court of law. Sure, hinkle goes on to literally murder frosty in front of little karen, but how would you feel if someone stole a winning lottery ticket out your hand at the exact moment you realized you hit the jackpot? How the grinch stole christmas! Let's set aside the pervasive dog abuse heaped upon poor max.
The big issue with how the grinch stole christmas! is that the story undermines its whole morality at the end. Think about it. What is the grinch's grand gesture after executing his theft to make a statement against the materialist excess of the holiday? He rides into whoville like a hero and gives it all back! He rewards them for not caring about material things by giving them back all of their material things.
Doesn't really seem like the message got through here. Speaking of which… a charlie brown christmas at the start of a charlie brown christmas, charlie is disgusted by the ornaments on snoopy's doghouse, because they represent the commercialization of christmas.
" my own dog gone commercial. I can't stand it." the true spirit of christmas? Charlie's sad tree — which everyone hates and mocks right up until charlie gives in to that commercialization and decorates it with snoopy's store-bought ornaments.
Then everyone loves it! Yes, the true meaning of christmas is to give in and buy things. " merry christmas charlie brown!" it's just a total coincidence that this special was commissioned by the coca-cola corporation.
After all, when have they ever made a dime off of selling christmas? Santa claus: the movie one of the most sadistic characters in christmas history makes his appearance in santa claus: the movie: the unscrupulous toymaker b.Z, who's in trouble with the senate for stuffing his teddy bears with — wait for it — rusty nails, used razor blades and shards of glass.
So when santa's former helper patch comes along with an idea to mass-produce candy canes that make children fly, the cigar-puffing business mogul sees it as a chance to bounce back.
B.Z. Then maxes out the creepometer when 10-year-old joe discovers that the new bunch of candy canes causes explosions. Instead of recalling the items, b.Z locks joe in the basement of his factory and plans to flee to brazil, leaving the orphan boy to starve in the dark.
Ugh, b.Z, even the krampus thinks that's going too far. It's a wonderful life suicide, sudden death by stroke, housing projects — they're all here in this joyful holiday tale! But what's really creepy is the method that george bailey's guardian angel, clarence, uses to keep george from committing suicide.
He uses extreme emotional manipulation, pretending to drown so that george is forced to jump in and save him — just as george had to do as a boy when his brother harry fell through a frozen lake.
That incident cost george the hearing in one ear, setting in motion everything bad that ever happened to george. Way to go, clarence. You just forced george to relive every painful memory of his entire life! Maybe next time you could try something really crazy, like just talking him through it instead? Thanks for watching! Click the looper icon to subscribe to our youtube channel.
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