(scary music) ian: " shut up!" anthony: " 'teddy bears and other toys kill more people than real bears'." anthony: " riiight." (upbeat music) (more upbeat music) anthony: " yesss." anthony: " hey." ian: " hey.

So, I finally got that clone machine working." (screams) anthony: " it's trying to kill me!" ian: " you've been reading those omg facts again, haven't you?" anthony: " they're true facts!" ian: " oh no! Ah, help! Help! The teddy bear's stabbing me, oh no!" ian: " oh, heh, well.

While you're playing with your little teddy bear, I got a hot girl to talk to! Her name is ashley. Heh." anthony: " is it your mom?" ian: " no! Hmph." ian: " no, I didn't pack any underwear! I'm only going to be here for a couple hours! Yeah, bye, ashley!" ian: " nice try, anthony!" tv: " to confuse your assailant, try a random word or phrase like, 'i have diarrhea'!" tv: " huh?" tv: " now you try!" tv: " I have diarrhea!" anthony: " I have diarrhea." tv: " again!" anthony: " I have diarrhea!" (scream of absolute terror.) Anthony: " okay, man, I get it.

You don't have to keep making fun of me!" (decapitatiiiooonnnn!) (Screams) anthony: " I have diarrhea!" anthony: " I have diar-" sensei: " silence!" (b**ch slap) sensei: " defeating the teddy bear is simple.

All you have to do is-ahhh!" sensei: " oh, nooo! Javelin! Damn you, teddy bear!" sensei: " listen. Tell my cats that I love them.

And that I miss them." anthony: " just tell me how to defeat the teddy bear!" sensei: " i'm so sorry. But my last dying words can only be 140 characters long! Yup, all up!" gta v cop: " get back! Stop right there, teddy bear! Oh god.

He's controlling my mind! No! Not down there! I make babies with that! Oww my wiener!" anthony: " get away from me!" (mysterious laughing) ian: " got you!" (all get up and start laughing) ian: " I get you with my clones every time!" anthony: " what about the teddy bear?" 'teddy bear': " midget clone!" gta v cop: " guys, I really shot my wiener off." to see the full self-defense video, starring kassemg, go to smosh.

Com. Today, i'm gonna show you how to repel bad guys. Also, check out the omg facts official youtube channel, and watch smosh present an omg fact. It'll make you say, " omg!" or at least, " that's a very interesting fact!" and thank you for subscribing.

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