-megch, my pokemans. Let me show you them. -Shut up! -I can't wait to travel to the city and get my first gym badge. It's gonna b-- hey, how the hell do I get around this thing? -Oh, snorlax? You gotta wake him up to get him to move.

-Wait, can't I just walk around him? -No, you freakin' idiot. You gotta wake him up with a poke flute. -And where do I get one of those? You can get one from that guy over there, you freakin' jackass.

Man, none of you kids know anything. -Hey, that old guy said you have a poke flute. Can I buy it off you or something? Hey! Can I buy a poke flute! -I can't talk to you unless you walk in front of me, dumbass.

-: Fine. -Where do you think you're going? Let's battle! -No, I don't wanna battle; I just wanna buy a poke flute. -Well, I you want a poke flute, you're gonna have to battle me first.

-Yeah, okay, whatever. -Let's battle! -All right, pikachu, I choose you! -Pikachu! -Ha, you're done for this time. Since our last battle, I got my pokemon up to level 100. Prepare to lose.

Go, metapod! -The hell is that? -(Electronic voice) metrosexual hipster. Dresses like a flamboyantly gay man to stand out from the rest of the male crowd, but always ends up looking like a complete tool.

-No, the pokemon. -(Electronic voice) my bad. Metapod: completely useless pokemon. -Useless? My metapod's level 100 and he's so bad-ass, that I stopped him from evolving into a girly little butterfly.

You don't even stand a chance. -We'll see about that. Pikachu, use slam! Pika! -All right, metapod, it's time to destroy him. Use harden! -Uh.

All right, pikachu, use thunderbolt! -Pika. Chu! -My metapod's gonna get so hard in this battle. -Ew. -Metapod, harden! -Use thundershock! -Harden! -Use scratch! -Let's hit him with a harden! -Hit him with a slam! -Penetrate his defenses with your harden! -Use scratch.

-Harden! Harden! How 'bout a harden? -Just one more hit and your stupid metapod is dead. -Metapod, use max potion! All right, pikachu, come back! Now, go, charizard! -All right, attack his metapod with-- wait, why can't I just use my pokemon to attack you? -Me? Uh.

'Cause it's, uh. Against the rules? -All right, charizard, use flamethrower on metrosex-- -okay, okay, fine! Here's your stupid poke flute. -Wait, this isn't a poke flute. -Look man, if you really wanted a poke flute, you could've just bought one from the guy over there.

Here. Now give me a damn poke flute. -Of course, but first you have to battle me. And my six metapods.

-Motherfu-- -to see bloopers from this video and more, like pikachu peeing on metapod, click the link in the description below! -Let me out of the ball, motherf--ker.

-Quick! Use subscribe attack by clicking the yellow button! I sure do love this music. Only problem is I always get this nostalgia boner and it's not exactly a good time, considering my mom's staring at me.

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