& amp; #9834; deck my balls with jars of jelly & amp; #9834; & amp; #9834; fa la la la la & amp; #9834; shut up! Can you tell me a bedtime story about christmas? Fine, you little sh*t! Santa's in trouble! So that's why we're driving towards the north pole.
You turn around now or you die by my sword! It's one of santa's little helpers! I was supposed to stop you guys so you wouldn't-- I can't believe I shot a midget. Well, technically, he was an elf.
That's not too bad. I < i> hate< /i> elves. Are we there yet? Almost. You know. It's pretty crazy to think that we're actually driving. On an ice cap right now.
Huh? Yeah, there's no more land below us. It's all just ice. Technically we're driving on the ocean. Oh god. You know I get sea sick! Look! Whoa.
We have visitors! I'll take care of them. Wait. Let them get closer. Then we strike. &Amp; amp; #9834; we are happy elves making fun and joy & amp; #9834; & amp; #9834; making all the presents for the girls and boys & amp; #9834; & amp; #9834; santa is the best! Oh we love him so! &Amp; amp; #9834; & amp; #9834; santa is our best friend.
Ho! Ho! Ho! &Amp; amp; #9834; this. Is amazing! Yeah. I don't know why that ninja elf was so mean. These guys < i> love< /i> santa. Can I please take your gun? No weapons are allowed in santa's castle.
Tee hee! Oh! Silly me! Here. Hah. We've got the stupid looking one's broomstick. Excellent. Now kill them. Why did you venture here? What's going on? Where's santa? None of your beeswax! When do people start dying already? What? Yeah.
This is < i> super< /i> boring. No one's died yet. Well, maybe if you'd just shut up for one second, we'd get to the dying parts.
Anyway. But enough of this. It's time for the both of you to die. Men, ready? Anthony, I don't feel good.
You know I get bullet sick. Aim. And. Fire! Say goodbye. Oh, shi-- wait.I'm alive. So < i> that's< /i> the dying part. See, stevie wonder? I told you people would die.
Shut up! Sorry. Holy crap. They're all dead. That's what you get for takin' my piece, bitch! Somebody help me, please! Santa! We've come to save you! Oh, joy! Thank you, kids. Ian and anthony.
We're on your " good boy" list every year? Uh. Yeah, right. Just get me out of here before the elves come. Come on, santa.
Let's get to your sleigh so you can save christmas. Not so fast. He can't leave. Shoot him, anthony! I'm ian. Yeah, whatever, just shoot him, guy! Santa's not what you think he is.
He's evil. And he's planning on-- hey! Only I am allowed to shoot people with my gun. Wait. What was that elf trying to say about you being evil? Well. &Amp; amp; #9834; I am evil santa and I am so mean & amp; #9834; & amp; #9834; tired of being so nice and so clean & amp; #9834; & amp; #9834; i've always been good and no one cares & amp; #9834; ♪ so i'm going to blow up the world with exploding bears ♪ exploding bears! Yeah.
Teddy bears stuffed with bombs. I'm going to throw them down the chimney of every house in the world. But what about all the good boys and girls that love you? They can suck it.
But we love you! Too bad. Now prepare to die. What! Wait! No, santa! Ho. Dude, that ending is messed up! Now i'm never going to be able to go to sleep! God, fine.
You are such a baby sometimes. Wait, no! Santa! Ho. Hey! A blast from that explosion shouldn't send me flying really high! You think he's still alive? Please.
Help me, boys. I've seen the error of my ways and I want to save christmas. Nope. So I kill santa and end christmas altogether! That's even worse! Fine! So we decided to save christmas ourselves and we packed santa's sleigh full of presents.
Drive! We have to spread christmas cheer to everyone! Hey. You're not santa. Bitch, he said drive! On a sleigh? Come on, man. That's lame. Fine, whatever. We deliver the presents in a harrier jet.
By the end of the night, we delivered presents to all the good girls and boys around the world. And christmas was saved. The end.
How's that for a story, bitch! Merry christmas, little guy. To see behind-the-scenes footage and bloopers, click right here! Or click the link down below. Now how am I gonna buy some slim jims? Thanks for subscribing! And merry christmas! Bitch..
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